sign..?!

flowers dying in a deliberately ignored corner of her room... clothes strewn across the floor.. phones ringing to the nines and then calls waiting... music slowing down to nothingness... fan letting of a whine... coffee machine careening slowly... a painting less than half done... empty glasses around her bed...

is there a sign here?

wish...

"And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"
- Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

That's pretty much all she has to say... then she looks up again to her li'l piece of the sky and sees a star blink... her gaze shifts to the crystal glass she holds as it catches the glint off the street light... she sees a bare tree under the light and a silent wish escapes her lips...

lower case...

she's probably moved a total of 110 cms in 2 days now... a smoke an hour and some other stuff to keep her company... a coffee pot bubbling through the night... mindless movies buzzing on her screen and a sketchy painting on her easel...

refusing to ponder... only willing to float... absorbing... en-circling... yet rested... there is peace... in the faraway glaze of her very quiet eyes... ultimately... it's all ok. if it's not ok... it's not the end.

elixir...?

cup of coffee in her hands, wind rustling in the trees...

her walk in the rain continued at night as well.. only to be interrupted by the loud jangle of her cellphone! (it was still Coldplay and she still loves it.. but it was a work call!)

and now there she sits... at this crazy hour... cup of coffee still in her hands... 2 phones on alternate calls... 'resolving issues!'

sleep is a distant wish and a forgotten memory all at the same time!

weds...?!

And then there are those moments where she just cuddles into herself and hibernates... The soft winter chill surrounds her and the raindrops fall on her head as she struggles with life's most 'minor' decisions in the early morn!

Numerous reasons to get moving... one to bring a sparkle in her eyes...!

~ wading through a wednesday!

pink pajamas... ;)

Pink Pajamas and Purple T-shirt! yeah.. that's what she's wearing and the sky's decided to take on those colors as well! It's an embrace of sorts... and she probably needs it!

Her destructive powers have decided to work the other way round these days and shes started to get things moving... (she should be happy you would think!) well.. she's missing the poltergeist in her... she likes to devastate!

The powers that be have been deemed answerable and well... we shall see! She will be back!

Footnote: Poletrgeist looks like she's gettin back in.. I've already tried to 'justify' this post 3 times but to no avail..!

will..?!

She lets the cold engulf her as she surrounds herself with the smell of stale smoke from the ashtray she's stuffed in the cupboard in a rush to clear the tell tale signs... she curiously sniffs into a quarter of 'orange twist' and is met by a heady rush to the senses...

She's listening to songs that are breaking her heart and her dawn seems far away... her will has decided to reassert itself in myriad ways and it's been tumultuous! she doesn't know where it's takin her... for once she's let it all go and float with it... let it turn into dark alleys or long stairways... or take the path with the sun rising at the horizon and the wind rustling in the trees!

This shall also pass!